Faith Adekoya
Faith Adekoya

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“The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will deeply root inside us and give us inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus.” Evangelist Billy Graham.The story of my life is not one that I am particularly proud of……but one which I have chosen to write about regardless of the attending circumstances and realities. It is definitely a story that I believe will be not only inspirational but a motivational read to all and sundry. In fact I dare say that this story is a must-read for every woman out there going through one form of abuse or the other in family, marriage or even in relationships. One that I believe will be a healing therapy to lots of women out there all over the world; who started well and were largely determined to make their marriage or relationships work but who were ultimately disappointed by what life eventually threw at them. When life throws at you ‘lemons; you make lemonade’. ‘Marriage is like a gift, carefully wrapped’ someone said. You get into it and then open the wrapping. You can then begin to see what is in your gift. Gifts cannot be easily returned (at least so I believe) and so you just pray that you get one that you really like. That the gift you get is what you actually need or hoped for at the least. As I was to later discover however, stories like this are in fact commonplace to most women, regardless of colour. Oftentimes though, no one has taken the pains to write about them largely because women who have also gone through such experiences usually choose to accept the situation as the norm rather than the exception. Such women even justify them as openly realistic. In the end such stories are subsumed in everyday lives and taken as ‘normal’ depending on which perspective you are coming from. Such stories are shrouded in mystery and sometimes clouded by beliefs. The question is, should they?As married women we oftentimes go through so much and for so little in return. We live most times in denial of the truth and wish that the ‘ups and downs’ of our marriages will all be sorted out somehow. We go through life with a ‘thick skin’ and we say that we are doing so for the sake of our ‘children and our loved ones’. We assume problems will just go away and we remain ‘foolish’ and very naive; sometimes for an entirety of a lifetime. Believe me, an abusive marital relationship is a catalyst to mental disorder and total breakdown of one’s health and sanity. Yet in reality, there’s absolutely no justification for it. Ask those who have been through it. They should know. Like someone said, if you are lucky to go through it and come out all in one piece, then you are a strong man or woman. Others are not as lucky as you; and it is for those people that books like this are written. You deserve to be alive. Only those who are alive can tell their story. In fact your story could be the next.This book records my memoirs as a woman, a wife, a mother, sister and now a grandmother who started out to make her marriage work. I started out as a young woman of faith with a strong fighting spirit to succeed in life and in marriage. Born into a monogamous home and raised by selfless Christian parents with sound moral principles, I looked forward to an excellent marriage in all its ramifications. The first of five children; I had to set an example all the way but then, alas. This book records in no particular order, good days, bad days, the realities and the naivete of my life. ...........

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